you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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