Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
Randomize
