Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Randomize
