Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
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