Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Randomize
