Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
