Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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