So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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