gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize
