We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Randomize
