I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Randomize