I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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