Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
Randomize
