Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Randomize
