Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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