I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize
