You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Randomize
