I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
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