Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
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