If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
I'm just crazy horny about you
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize