I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
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