Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
Mom said you looked used
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
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