So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
Randomize
