he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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