dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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