I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
lol hangovers are for mortals.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
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