I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
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