quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
Randomize
