I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
