She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Randomize
