She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
Randomize
