She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
