i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
