9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
Randomize
