how can u be prego again
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
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