I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Randomize