guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
