remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
The air taste purple.
Randomize
