I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
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