I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
Randomize
