ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Randomize
