What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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