You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Randomize
