Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
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