Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
Randomize