Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
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