i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
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