I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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