There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
