how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
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