I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
Randomize
