What a fucking waste of an outfit
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Randomize
