No awkward lesbian experiences without me
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
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