All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
