Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
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