"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
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