THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Randomize
