IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
