Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize
