He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
Is Oprah even human
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
