I'll bet she douches with gravy.
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize