she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
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